awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
