you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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