Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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