they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
