why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
