Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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