No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Even my vagina gasped.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
