There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
