When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
