Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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