he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
