'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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