we have pet lesbian snakes
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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