Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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