nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
