woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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