Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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