I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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