If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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