Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
