she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
