remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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