reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
She swung at the pinata with crutches
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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