I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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