I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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