So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
