I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
