I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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