Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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