I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
