Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
