Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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