so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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