Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
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