Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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