He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Why is there bacon in the couch?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize