note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
