dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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