you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
