Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
