I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
