maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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