Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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