Yo dont text me then not text me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
