you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
