he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
