I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
