Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
