the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
