I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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