I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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