genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
