How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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