Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
COCAINE IS GR8
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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