so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
