Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize